I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

I'd like to say I've been on a Lily Allen kick, but it's really that I've been watching too much Noah's Arc[again] and one of her songs was in it.

Hi y'all. I'm a mess.

There's a lot that's happened and I feel pretty bad for not even trying to keep regular updates. I'm gonna try to get everything together starting now.

I'd normally try to recap EVERY MAJOR THING that has happened since my arrival into the big Chi-Na, but I think I've decided that it'd be easier for me to do things little by little as my memory returns.

So, some major points.

1. I am twenty.

Today, October 7th, marks the day that my mother popped my fatass head out of her birth canal and brought me, Steven, into this world. It's pretty exciting. Most people who know me well have probably heard me say some pretty fearful statements about reaching thirty, but I think I'm actually getting over it. Don't fear death; embrace it.[Not that thirty is death or anything...it just feels like it.]

My mom should be calling me tonight. Now I can finally open the gift my grandmother gave me in AUGUST.[Haha, I'm proud of myself for not opening it until now.]

So, what did I do for my birthday? I went to the local gay club[which is fairly whack, btw], of course. And I met some Argentinian boy named Pablo, 24, who happens to be studying at my university as well and...blah blah blah.

To be frank, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole matter. I decided recently that as noble as I think celibacy is, I'm also a 19 20 year old man. I want to be reckless. Maybe I'll reconsider celibacy later on, but as for now, forget it.

But even so, I just don't know where this is supposed to go. I'm gonna try to just stay with the moment, I guess.

Anyway. The greatest part of the night was making out with Pablo on the dance floor. I felt like it was Queer as Folk or some shit: dancing and getting all close on the floor, having everyone look at us.[Minus a subsequent gay-bashing/bat to the head in the parking lot, of course] I really could have had the night end right there; it made my night. He's very beautiful; I'll try to snag a picture if we meet up again. The whole situation was fairly bizarre: he was the first person who talked to me when I walked in. I thought it was just the instant-foreigner connection, if only because he's' prettier than me. And so I thought we'd just chill, drink beers together. And suddenly we're getting all close. Oh well.

It's just funny, 'cause earlier this week I was complaining about how I missed black/hispanic guys.

We also met some lesbians, they were cool. I love lesbians. They were a little old and dry, though.

2. Now that boy mess is out of the way...

I am an environmental threat.

That's right. A few days ago, Friday I believe, I ate a cicada. That's right. I have gone crazy.

I'll try to put pictures in the photoblog that will be started shortly.

It actually wasn't that bad; it was like beef jerky. With legs. Who am I kidding: that mess was gross to the max. I was peer pressured into it by my classmates.

Next, I killed a chicken. Took a fairly dull knife, and sawed its head right off.

The context is that we were enjoying the national holiday, which has been going on since October 1st to today, October 7th. We were near Lishui, a city further south in Zhejiang Province, and visitng the Shir people's village. The Shir people are a minority in China.

So, while we were in the village, we had to participate in a marriage; my classmates and I elected who would be what. And I was elected to be the bride's brother. Or uncle. I'm not sure myself, actually. Whoever I was , I had to kill the chicken.

And the rest is history. It's a pretty odd feeling, though, bearing the moral culpability in my own hands. It's certainly easier just to go to McDonald's and order some Chicken McNuggets. People kept calling me a killer/murderer.[Aren't we all?]

3. I'm tired.

I'm pretty proud of myself for doing this much. Of course, I can still write about random Chinese kids people thinking it's okay to touch my hair and rub my skin ...or Korean people asking me if I play basketball. Or people telling me I resemble Kobe Bryant[haha, child please, let's forget the two foot difference]/assuming I'm African/whatever. But I can do those later.

What was the final push to get me updating was Steven Emmanuel/Queer Kid of Color, I think; I was reading Clik, specifically his interview of Jonathan Perry, and I was reminded of how much I love people. black people. black gay people. and everyone else. haha. And so, I just had to get my head out of my ass and get my shit together.

Deuces.