An update! Surprised y'all didn't I?!?
This might be a little short and probably won't fulfill any of the other promises I made in my previous entries. Just as warning.
1. Reading schedule. I finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius yesterday morning. I was quite proud of myself; this has been a project of mine for the past four years. I don't know why it feels so long-- it could be that I never liked any of the characters. So, since I never had anything to look forward to, except their deaths, perhaps the book just dragged for me. Either way, I do think the book deserves every accolade it's ever gotten. Eggers takes a very creative stance with the novel in practically every way imaginable-- the table of contents, the preface, the reviews, etc. All of it's practically a joke. It's the first book I've ever seen written this way. Even the formatting of the book-- it goes from regular prose to switching scenes every paragraph, sometimes every other sentence. He has diagrams. Sometimes the book is in interview format. A NY Times Reviewer called he book "manic depressive"; I think that might be the best way to describe it.
So, I definitely recommend it to everyone. It's not my favorite, but for anyone with an interest in how much license you can take with a novel, this is definitely a great example.
Now I'm reading Atlas Shrugged, another four year project.[I have so many of these because senior year of high school, I raided my school's library/junk pile, took the books home, and read some but never finished many of them] Now, with a book that has claim to being one of the most influential books of all time after the Bible.[I think this referred to Americans only; I should come back in and cite this] Anyway, the book is from Ayn Rand, Russian immigrant, staunch anti-Communist, objectivist, etc. Currently I'm on page 340-- to give you an image of my edition, it is hardcover, small font, and over 1000 pages. As Summer can attest, I can normally inhale books with no problem. But Atlas Shrugged is definitely beyond my capabilities. Of course it's also a book that's hard to read at the same pace that I can read, say, The Da Vinci Code or Harry Potter-- there's a lot going on, all the time, and I feel like there are some subtleties to pay attention to. Reading this really makes me want to see Feminist critiques of Ayn Rand's handling of female characters. I'm sure people must have had a field-day...even I feel like I'm rattling off a thousand questions everytime she has Dagny[the protagonist, a female] do something.
Oh, there's a great excerpt that I wanted to point out. The quote is from Lillian Rearden, wife of Hank Rearden, while she's having a row with him:
"It's really very simple. If you tell a beautiful woman that she is beautiful, what have you given her? It's no more than a fact and it has cost you nothing. But if you tell an ugly woman that she is beautiful, you offer her the great homage of corrupting the concept of beauty. To love a woman for her virtues is meaningless. She's earned it, it's a payment, not a gift. But to love her for her vices is a real gift, unearned and undeserved. To love her for her vices is to defile all virtue for her sake-- and that is a real tribute of love, beause you sacrifice your conscience, your reason, your integrity and your invaluable self-esteem."
The entire exchange is very beautiful, but this monologue in particular really caught my eye. Rand has this way of alternating between very dry and mechanical language-- afterall, the book is about the train industry. But she has a very interesting way of depicting romance-- also very dry most of the time, tones of BDSM, but always beautiful written. This book will definitely be a favorite, if I ever finish it.
I made a goal in high school to read every Ayn Rand book-- so far, I've read Anthem, which was maybe 200 pages. Very good book. Anyway, I intend on sticking with this goal, but I hear The Fountainhead is just as long as Atlas Shrugged...great, haha.
2. If one more person tells me how much darker I've gotten...
Okay, so, apparently China had this evil skin-ruining effect on me. As soon as I got back to America, my mom told me how much darker I'd gotten. Okay, whatever-- my mother is always overcritical.[China also gave me slight acne-- this, I recognize] Anyway, then my aunt said the same thing. Then, my old bestfriend's sister told me the SAME thing yesterday. She then proceeded to tell me where I could find sunblock at Walgreen's.
At first I blew it off; my mom and aunt are pretty light-skinned, so I thought it was probably their high-yellow agendas coming into play, keeping the family light. But Tiana is fairly dark, or was apparently darker than me[not true anymore], and it really caught me by surprise that it was one of the first things she said after she saw me.
It has me feeling self-conscious, looking through my photos for comparison. Not as if there's anything I can do about it-- I'm not going to get skin lightening creme, so my skin'll either turn back or it'll stay. Either way, I've never really encountered stuff like this-- this complexion agenda! I already joked with my grandfather about moving away from these lightskinned folk and heading back to South Carolina with the rest of the darkies in our family, =P.
Alright, that's it. Maybe next entry I'll talk about my Tufts visit[s]! Later.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Musical Chiropractor.
Alright, I know I should be done with updating, but...as part of my penance[speaking of penance, Ash Wednesday was yesterday! What ever shall I give up for Lent?] I feel like posting the lyrics of two songs that I've been identifying with for the past two months.
This is a very Shawn-thing to do, to post lyrics, but I feel like stealing his gimmick.
Eight Easy Steps, Alanis Morissette[Because no one told me she was a goddess...]
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solveable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone
[Chorus:]
I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships looks when tought by the best
How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a player and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success
[Chorus]
I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you
[Chorus]
How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything
[Chorus]
And then there's Nancy Boy, from Placebo:
Alcoholic kind of mood
lose my clothes, lose my lube
cruising for a piece of fun
looking out for number one
different partner every night
so narcotic outta sight
what a gas, what a beautiful ass.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
Kind of buzz that lasts for days
had some help from insect ways
comes across all shy and coy
just another nancy boy.
Woman man or modern monkey
just another happy junkie
fifty pounds, press my button
going down.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
Does his makeup in his room
douse himself with cheap perfume
eyeholes in a paper bag
greatest lay I ever had
kind of guy who mates for life
gotta help him find a wife
we're a couple, when our bodies double.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
----
I recommend listening to both of these songs if you're an overdramatic teenager/young adult with a bad habit or five. I'd also recommend the Dresden Dolls, if you're into cabaret-ish stuff.
On a less dysfunctional note, I am SO HAPPY to know what's out in R&B/Pop/Hip Hop. I've been playing "Hey Baby", from Omarion and Bow Wow and "Kiss Kiss"[which I guess is older], from Chris Brown featuring T.Pain like non-stop.
Also, the faster Soulja Boi fades back into obscurity, the better.
End.
This is a very Shawn-thing to do, to post lyrics, but I feel like stealing his gimmick.
Eight Easy Steps, Alanis Morissette[Because no one told me she was a goddess...]
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solveable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone
[Chorus:]
I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships looks when tought by the best
How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a player and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success
[Chorus]
I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you
[Chorus]
How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything
[Chorus]
And then there's Nancy Boy, from Placebo:
Alcoholic kind of mood
lose my clothes, lose my lube
cruising for a piece of fun
looking out for number one
different partner every night
so narcotic outta sight
what a gas, what a beautiful ass.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
Kind of buzz that lasts for days
had some help from insect ways
comes across all shy and coy
just another nancy boy.
Woman man or modern monkey
just another happy junkie
fifty pounds, press my button
going down.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
Does his makeup in his room
douse himself with cheap perfume
eyeholes in a paper bag
greatest lay I ever had
kind of guy who mates for life
gotta help him find a wife
we're a couple, when our bodies double.
And it all breaks down at the role reversal
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
And it all breaks down at the first rehearsal,
got the muse in my head she's universal,
spinnin' me round she's coming over me.
----
I recommend listening to both of these songs if you're an overdramatic teenager/young adult with a bad habit or five. I'd also recommend the Dresden Dolls, if you're into cabaret-ish stuff.
On a less dysfunctional note, I am SO HAPPY to know what's out in R&B/Pop/Hip Hop. I've been playing "Hey Baby", from Omarion and Bow Wow and "Kiss Kiss"[which I guess is older], from Chris Brown featuring T.Pain like non-stop.
Also, the faster Soulja Boi fades back into obscurity, the better.
End.
"Hey, Big Mambo!"
Believe it or not, I've had this title planned since November.
When my classmates and I went to Beijing and were visiting Gugong[the Forbidden City], there were some Tazmanian tourists there. And as it always happens when Black people meet in China, I acknowledged them, they acknowledged me, etc. But then, one of the guys said, "Hey, Big Mambo!" followed by some other stuff that I did not understand. After he realized that I didn't understand, he asked where I was from; I asked him the same. He said he thought I was Tazmanian. I mean, it was just a really great moment for me; I feel like in America, everyone just assumes I'm African American, and rightly so. Maybe Jamaican when I've got more hair going. Anyway, Africans never mistake me for being African. I liked it, reminded me that we're a diaspora of the same people. At least skin color wise.
Black Power.
Anyway, hiiii. I owe all of you my deepest apologies, especially Steven, since I promised him I would update a while ago. In all honesty, the biggest culprit in my long hiatus was the crappiness of my internet connection; there were at least two times when I would be bored and ready to update. But right when I was halfway through an update, my internet connection would give out and I would lose everything. So I gave up.
There's a lot of catching up to do of course. I'm not ambitious enough to seek to cover everything in one entry-- sorry. But at least the basics.
1. I am back in America.
I fought hard against it, but in the end, I returned to the Land of the Brave. I am back in New Jersey. I've been home for about a week, closer to two-- it's already been pretty eventful. Um. Saw a lot of family, friends. It's been cool, being home.
I miss China severely. I miss being stared at, I miss the pushing and the shoving. But most of all, I miss the cheapness. And I miss speaking Chinese 24/7. Or at least 4/7.
I'll probably cover the last of my Chinese adventures at a later date. My last entry was October 12th, when I was still head over heels ove everything for Pablo, when my American classmates were still there. My classmates left December 10th-ish, and from that point until a week or two ago, I was alone in China, braving the wilds. I also made a sort of photo blog on MSN-- I gave in and made a space on there. So I wasn't completely idle for the past few months. I'll figure out the link later; if you want to see pictures that badly, you can just ask me for my MSN account.[get MSN if you don't have it! It's the future!] Or facebook.
I really did enjoy myself, though. And I discovered that I love Korean people. But that's another entry.
2. New Year's Resolutions
Um. I really, really want to have New Years Resolutions this year, but I got off on the wrong start. I still don't really have a codified list of goals for this year, which is a major problem. Even if I don't reach them, I need some sort of gameplan. For now, the list is:
I. Get fluent in a language.[Chinese is impossible. So that leaves either Spanish or Japanese.] I actually think this is doable, but it means I can no longer be lazy.
II. Read over 200 books. This I know is destined to fail-- I came up with this one when I was drunk. I didn't realize at the time that 200 books means about a book every other day. And considering that it's already February and I haven't even completed one book this year...yeah. I'm a little behind. I may make the goal a 100, maybe even 50. We'll see.
III. Get pretty. But that's my goal every year. My teeth are no longer a mess anymore. I just need to get toned, get facial hair, and work on my sexy poses...
IV. Become a testing king. There are four tests I want to do well on this year-- LSATs[Law School Admission Test], GREs[Blah blah blah...grad school test/SATs part II], HSK[Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi/Chinese Level Test], and the JLPT[Japanese Language Proficiency Test]. We'll see. I'm actually very worried. Everyone has been getting on my back about what I'm going to do after college.
Etc.
3. Boys?
Of course.
I feel as if there is a VERY thin line between "stay-at-home dork with no social skills" and "complete slut" and I've been straddling it for a while now. Only this past week I feel as if things are getting slightly out of control.
I'll go into more depth later, but for the duration of while I was in China, I was all over Pablo. Thinking about him all the time. I fell very hard-- perhaps the hardest I've ever fallen, save for Jay. The worst part was that I didn't know why I fell so hard-- I guess I'm attracted to guys who're smarter than me, and he at least is better with languages than I am. There was also that I just never saw it coming. He seemed too pretty for me.
And then there was Darville. I had this profile on this gay Asian website[which is also how two other guys at my university in China wound up finding me, but that's another story]. Anyway, so Darville contacted me, he's a nice kid. Seems to really like me-- or at least I think he just wants to find someone not-Chinese.[He's from Grenada] And I recently introduced him to another of my friends online, and now they're like hooking up or something. Great. I don't know how I feel about that.
Last week, it was Alvinn's 18th birthday. Alvinn and I have a special relationship-- I would jump over major hurdles for this kid. If you know me really well, I've probably told you about what a great program NJSEEDS is-- Alvinn and I are both alumni. I may have given the shpiel[sic?] already about it, but it's essentially a program that attempts to help urban youth, typically minorities, gain access to private, typically boarding, high schools. When Alvinn was 12, he started Phase 1 of the program-- at the time, I was 14 or so, and an intern. I helped my friend Nakeefa teach a Technology class that he was in. Anyway, Alvinn was very fast for his age-- he already knew he was gay and everything, whereas I didn't come out until two years later. And he had a crush on me at the time, which I felt was gross. 12 year olds.
BUT. He has been getting steadily more attractive and less 12-year-old-ish since he's turned 16. I still felt kind of peevish-- he was 16, I was 18. Felt like pedophilia. So I have been waiting for this kid to get some age on him-- even 18 is a little young, but I'm only 20 myself. Anyway, I can't even pretend to lie-- I like a lot of people, possibly too many, but Alvinn is very high on list. I'm just trying to wait for him to get older, get some experience. He also has a boyfriend, of whom I'm not sure I approve , but as long as Alvinn likes him, I'm wishing for the best.
Still, for his birthday night, we took him out to a club, Esquelita's, in NY. It was my first time as well. That was a crazy night. Besides being very drunk, there was a runin with the cops, and me seeing WAY too many people that I knew there. Pass. But, I did make out with Alvinn, in all of my drunken-ness. That is NOT how I wanted our first kiss to be.
Anyway, I'm not fiending for this kid at all-- he's more like a masterpiece that's as of yet unfinished. Like, one of those guys that I'll find myself always coming back to, at least mentally.
Okay. So that was last Saturday.
Yesterday, there was Julian. While I may catch flack for this, I am on gay sites and have been since high school. I have no interest in having sex with anyone from these things-- never have, possibly never will. In fact, my main reason is to get compliments, I guess[Low self esteem for the win!]. I've met two guys in the past from these things-- Paul, who was gross, and Matt, who was more gross. Not a good track record.
The problem is that sometimes these things cross into my real life-- for example, a guy from across the street is on one, and after running into him on person, he hit me up, asking if I was the same person. And while I'm hesitant to meet up with anyone from these things, especially after the bad experiences, it's also like...you live across the street. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to you if, say, we met into a different space. Are you that much more dangerous because you're online?
Etc. I have other thoughts on this issue, but I don't care to get into it right now. Point is, I use the stuff mainly for self-validation and to get some laughs. Friends would be great, but too many people annoy me. But then there are those that don't-- Julian for example, and Sean.[see below] I guess we can't be friends if we never meet, right? I met Julian yesterday.
We made out. It got a little further, and then I went home before anything happened. He actually lives like a few blocks from me. We just had a day walking around, running errands. He treated me to dinner. Then we went to his place and he gave me a drink-- which I suspected was spiked. Luckily, it wasn't. He's kind of cute, but he also is like 29? And looks kind of old. And honestly, I don't really think I need jumpoffs, though he is a great kisser.
IMMEDIATELY after I left, apparently there was this other guy, Sean, whom I gave my number like a month ago.[Which is weird, 'cause I give no one my number.] He's a cool guy, and I vaguely remember talking to him. We're gonna hang out on Friday in Newark, I guess. I don't think we're compatible, thank goodness-- he's on some pro-masculine shit, asking me if I want to be wifey/if I cook or something like that. Homo please, must be joking, haha. But otherwise, he's kind of funny-- as long as I keep myself out of the "possible jumpoff" zone, I think we should be fine.
So, I mean. I feel like in ONE WEEK, I've been with more guys than I have in like an entire year[not even counting that cute Latino boy at the poetry slam a while ago...mm. But I didn't holla at him, though I should have]. And I know, be cautious, etc. I'm definitely always thinking of escape routes. And am considering taking myself off of gay sites altogether-- even though I'm always listed as looking for friends, it never seems to work that way. Or at least all 3 have wound up escalating. I guess for most people this is normal, but I feel like college hookups are...different. I don't know.
---
Of course the boy section was the biggest one. It's just a very odd feeling for me-- I feel like I'm a good person, kind of dorky, not really into crazy stuff. I drink a lot and like Asian languages. A mediocre dancer who likes to read, and has a coffee allergy, haha. And suddenly I feel like it'd be SO easy to just have a list of boys ready for the moment.
Or maybe I just need to have a "boys I like" list-- pretty much Shawn, Pablo, Alvinn, Darville. Anyone else is just extra.
Anyway, I'll try to make a more interesting entry next time-- less focused on drivel, etc.
Also? VOTE OBAMA 08.
;)
When my classmates and I went to Beijing and were visiting Gugong[the Forbidden City], there were some Tazmanian tourists there. And as it always happens when Black people meet in China, I acknowledged them, they acknowledged me, etc. But then, one of the guys said, "Hey, Big Mambo!" followed by some other stuff that I did not understand. After he realized that I didn't understand, he asked where I was from; I asked him the same. He said he thought I was Tazmanian. I mean, it was just a really great moment for me; I feel like in America, everyone just assumes I'm African American, and rightly so. Maybe Jamaican when I've got more hair going. Anyway, Africans never mistake me for being African. I liked it, reminded me that we're a diaspora of the same people. At least skin color wise.
Black Power.
Anyway, hiiii. I owe all of you my deepest apologies, especially Steven, since I promised him I would update a while ago. In all honesty, the biggest culprit in my long hiatus was the crappiness of my internet connection; there were at least two times when I would be bored and ready to update. But right when I was halfway through an update, my internet connection would give out and I would lose everything. So I gave up.
There's a lot of catching up to do of course. I'm not ambitious enough to seek to cover everything in one entry-- sorry. But at least the basics.
1. I am back in America.
I fought hard against it, but in the end, I returned to the Land of the Brave. I am back in New Jersey. I've been home for about a week, closer to two-- it's already been pretty eventful. Um. Saw a lot of family, friends. It's been cool, being home.
I miss China severely. I miss being stared at, I miss the pushing and the shoving. But most of all, I miss the cheapness. And I miss speaking Chinese 24/7. Or at least 4/7.
I'll probably cover the last of my Chinese adventures at a later date. My last entry was October 12th, when I was still head over heels ove everything for Pablo, when my American classmates were still there. My classmates left December 10th-ish, and from that point until a week or two ago, I was alone in China, braving the wilds. I also made a sort of photo blog on MSN-- I gave in and made a space on there. So I wasn't completely idle for the past few months. I'll figure out the link later; if you want to see pictures that badly, you can just ask me for my MSN account.[get MSN if you don't have it! It's the future!] Or facebook.
I really did enjoy myself, though. And I discovered that I love Korean people. But that's another entry.
2. New Year's Resolutions
Um. I really, really want to have New Years Resolutions this year, but I got off on the wrong start. I still don't really have a codified list of goals for this year, which is a major problem. Even if I don't reach them, I need some sort of gameplan. For now, the list is:
I. Get fluent in a language.[Chinese is impossible. So that leaves either Spanish or Japanese.] I actually think this is doable, but it means I can no longer be lazy.
II. Read over 200 books. This I know is destined to fail-- I came up with this one when I was drunk. I didn't realize at the time that 200 books means about a book every other day. And considering that it's already February and I haven't even completed one book this year...yeah. I'm a little behind. I may make the goal a 100, maybe even 50. We'll see.
III. Get pretty. But that's my goal every year. My teeth are no longer a mess anymore. I just need to get toned, get facial hair, and work on my sexy poses...
IV. Become a testing king. There are four tests I want to do well on this year-- LSATs[Law School Admission Test], GREs[Blah blah blah...grad school test/SATs part II], HSK[Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi/Chinese Level Test], and the JLPT[Japanese Language Proficiency Test]. We'll see. I'm actually very worried. Everyone has been getting on my back about what I'm going to do after college.
Etc.
3. Boys?
Of course.
I feel as if there is a VERY thin line between "stay-at-home dork with no social skills" and "complete slut" and I've been straddling it for a while now. Only this past week I feel as if things are getting slightly out of control.
I'll go into more depth later, but for the duration of while I was in China, I was all over Pablo. Thinking about him all the time. I fell very hard-- perhaps the hardest I've ever fallen, save for Jay. The worst part was that I didn't know why I fell so hard-- I guess I'm attracted to guys who're smarter than me, and he at least is better with languages than I am. There was also that I just never saw it coming. He seemed too pretty for me.
And then there was Darville. I had this profile on this gay Asian website[which is also how two other guys at my university in China wound up finding me, but that's another story]. Anyway, so Darville contacted me, he's a nice kid. Seems to really like me-- or at least I think he just wants to find someone not-Chinese.[He's from Grenada] And I recently introduced him to another of my friends online, and now they're like hooking up or something. Great. I don't know how I feel about that.
Last week, it was Alvinn's 18th birthday. Alvinn and I have a special relationship-- I would jump over major hurdles for this kid. If you know me really well, I've probably told you about what a great program NJSEEDS is-- Alvinn and I are both alumni. I may have given the shpiel[sic?] already about it, but it's essentially a program that attempts to help urban youth, typically minorities, gain access to private, typically boarding, high schools. When Alvinn was 12, he started Phase 1 of the program-- at the time, I was 14 or so, and an intern. I helped my friend Nakeefa teach a Technology class that he was in. Anyway, Alvinn was very fast for his age-- he already knew he was gay and everything, whereas I didn't come out until two years later. And he had a crush on me at the time, which I felt was gross. 12 year olds.
BUT. He has been getting steadily more attractive and less 12-year-old-ish since he's turned 16. I still felt kind of peevish-- he was 16, I was 18. Felt like pedophilia. So I have been waiting for this kid to get some age on him-- even 18 is a little young, but I'm only 20 myself. Anyway, I can't even pretend to lie-- I like a lot of people, possibly too many, but Alvinn is very high on list. I'm just trying to wait for him to get older, get some experience. He also has a boyfriend, of whom I'm not sure I approve , but as long as Alvinn likes him, I'm wishing for the best.
Still, for his birthday night, we took him out to a club, Esquelita's, in NY. It was my first time as well. That was a crazy night. Besides being very drunk, there was a runin with the cops, and me seeing WAY too many people that I knew there. Pass. But, I did make out with Alvinn, in all of my drunken-ness. That is NOT how I wanted our first kiss to be.
Anyway, I'm not fiending for this kid at all-- he's more like a masterpiece that's as of yet unfinished. Like, one of those guys that I'll find myself always coming back to, at least mentally.
Okay. So that was last Saturday.
Yesterday, there was Julian. While I may catch flack for this, I am on gay sites and have been since high school. I have no interest in having sex with anyone from these things-- never have, possibly never will. In fact, my main reason is to get compliments, I guess[Low self esteem for the win!]. I've met two guys in the past from these things-- Paul, who was gross, and Matt, who was more gross. Not a good track record.
The problem is that sometimes these things cross into my real life-- for example, a guy from across the street is on one, and after running into him on person, he hit me up, asking if I was the same person. And while I'm hesitant to meet up with anyone from these things, especially after the bad experiences, it's also like...you live across the street. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to you if, say, we met into a different space. Are you that much more dangerous because you're online?
Etc. I have other thoughts on this issue, but I don't care to get into it right now. Point is, I use the stuff mainly for self-validation and to get some laughs. Friends would be great, but too many people annoy me. But then there are those that don't-- Julian for example, and Sean.[see below] I guess we can't be friends if we never meet, right? I met Julian yesterday.
We made out. It got a little further, and then I went home before anything happened. He actually lives like a few blocks from me. We just had a day walking around, running errands. He treated me to dinner. Then we went to his place and he gave me a drink-- which I suspected was spiked. Luckily, it wasn't. He's kind of cute, but he also is like 29? And looks kind of old. And honestly, I don't really think I need jumpoffs, though he is a great kisser.
IMMEDIATELY after I left, apparently there was this other guy, Sean, whom I gave my number like a month ago.[Which is weird, 'cause I give no one my number.] He's a cool guy, and I vaguely remember talking to him. We're gonna hang out on Friday in Newark, I guess. I don't think we're compatible, thank goodness-- he's on some pro-masculine shit, asking me if I want to be wifey/if I cook or something like that. Homo please, must be joking, haha. But otherwise, he's kind of funny-- as long as I keep myself out of the "possible jumpoff" zone, I think we should be fine.
So, I mean. I feel like in ONE WEEK, I've been with more guys than I have in like an entire year[not even counting that cute Latino boy at the poetry slam a while ago...mm. But I didn't holla at him, though I should have]. And I know, be cautious, etc. I'm definitely always thinking of escape routes. And am considering taking myself off of gay sites altogether-- even though I'm always listed as looking for friends, it never seems to work that way. Or at least all 3 have wound up escalating. I guess for most people this is normal, but I feel like college hookups are...different. I don't know.
---
Of course the boy section was the biggest one. It's just a very odd feeling for me-- I feel like I'm a good person, kind of dorky, not really into crazy stuff. I drink a lot and like Asian languages. A mediocre dancer who likes to read, and has a coffee allergy, haha. And suddenly I feel like it'd be SO easy to just have a list of boys ready for the moment.
Or maybe I just need to have a "boys I like" list-- pretty much Shawn, Pablo, Alvinn, Darville. Anyone else is just extra.
Anyway, I'll try to make a more interesting entry next time-- less focused on drivel, etc.
Also? VOTE OBAMA 08.
;)
Friday, October 12, 2007
Her eyes told me she was an intuitionist, and I couldn't tell her that was so 19th century.
So, Shakira has a song, "Las de La Intuicion"[English: Pure Intuition], and it's great. I've listened to it like eighty times in the past two-three days.
I'm kind of pressed for time, I'll be getting lunch in like 10 minutes or so. But I had some things on my mind that I wanted to get down into an entry.
1. I am extremely tired of English.
Who am I kidding: i love English. It's the best language ever, after Japanese. [And probably Arabic] But I feel as if I fall back on it so much-- when I'm learning Chinese-- I use English translations to understand grammatical concepts. Ditto for when I'm learning Japanese and Spanish. So, I was wondering: is there a way that I can get rid of English?
I feel like, even in China, I use it so often: I use it to communicate with my American classmates here, when I browse online, I read English articles, my blog is in English, lately I've been listening to more music in English.
Now, I'd guess it's impossible to get rid of all of the English in my life. But, for the little bit that I can change, I'm going to work on.
My blog will stay in English, haha. But I think I may actually take a serious language pledge this time-- no conversations with my classmates in English unless it's necessary.[And, there are times, ie. during our mandatory culture classes, conducted in English] No more music in English.[Not so hard.] And as little English internet use as possible.
This also has to do with my feelings about Spanish-- like, I could be so close to being fluent, but for my laziness alone, I'm not. Compared to Chinese, Spanish is like a breeze, like learning a different dialect of English, haha. I'm reading El Alquimista/The Alchemist right now, and while I've forgotten a lot of stuff, it's getting very easy to recall words I've forgotten. And, in general, the gist of what's being said comes very easily. So, I think I just need to add a bit more work, and I could definitely get good with Spanish. Japanese is in a similar position, but I use it more often, so I'm a better Japanese speaker...probably. Which is funny.
That's one thing that bothers me, my Spanish speaking ability. My reading and hearing are both far above my speaking. So, another target.
What else. Oh, there's a whole bunch of Pablo stuff, that thankfully reached some sort of resolution, but that's probably another update. I also did take the pictures I said I would, but again, next update.
Later.
I'm kind of pressed for time, I'll be getting lunch in like 10 minutes or so. But I had some things on my mind that I wanted to get down into an entry.
1. I am extremely tired of English.
Who am I kidding: i love English. It's the best language ever, after Japanese. [And probably Arabic] But I feel as if I fall back on it so much-- when I'm learning Chinese-- I use English translations to understand grammatical concepts. Ditto for when I'm learning Japanese and Spanish. So, I was wondering: is there a way that I can get rid of English?
I feel like, even in China, I use it so often: I use it to communicate with my American classmates here, when I browse online, I read English articles, my blog is in English, lately I've been listening to more music in English.
Now, I'd guess it's impossible to get rid of all of the English in my life. But, for the little bit that I can change, I'm going to work on.
My blog will stay in English, haha. But I think I may actually take a serious language pledge this time-- no conversations with my classmates in English unless it's necessary.[And, there are times, ie. during our mandatory culture classes, conducted in English] No more music in English.[Not so hard.] And as little English internet use as possible.
This also has to do with my feelings about Spanish-- like, I could be so close to being fluent, but for my laziness alone, I'm not. Compared to Chinese, Spanish is like a breeze, like learning a different dialect of English, haha. I'm reading El Alquimista/The Alchemist right now, and while I've forgotten a lot of stuff, it's getting very easy to recall words I've forgotten. And, in general, the gist of what's being said comes very easily. So, I think I just need to add a bit more work, and I could definitely get good with Spanish. Japanese is in a similar position, but I use it more often, so I'm a better Japanese speaker...probably. Which is funny.
That's one thing that bothers me, my Spanish speaking ability. My reading and hearing are both far above my speaking. So, another target.
What else. Oh, there's a whole bunch of Pablo stuff, that thankfully reached some sort of resolution, but that's probably another update. I also did take the pictures I said I would, but again, next update.
Later.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
"I was not sorry when my brother died."
And that, my friends, is the first line of a really great book called Nervous Conditions.
It's pretty amusing that I'm STILL READING The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, even though I finished Oracle Bones, which is probably around the same length, in about three to four days. I started Nervous Conditions, which is around half the size, on Saturday, finished it the next day. I've been ready The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle for at least two months.
It's an amazing book, so it's not because Oracle Bones is a better/easier read. TWUBC shits all over Oracle Bones. As much as I hate to admit it, it must be because despite the fact that I can find eBooks for...well, free, they are still not easy for me to read, compared to their physical copies. Bummer. [To be fair, I also rarely have time to give TWUBC the dedication I gave to the other two. My laptop rarely leaves my room, so I only read TWUBC when I'm here, which isn't too often. I can take regular books anywhere, and usually do-- dinner, class, wherever.]
But as I was saying, Nervous Conditions is an amazing book. I would like to say it reminds me of Jamaica Kincaid's "The Autobiography of my Mother" but the comparison might not actually be very fitting aferall. The only similarity that I can think of is that they're both black female protagonists with semi-similar personalities...maybe. But the settings of each novel and the voices used by each author are completely different. If I remember correctly, The Autobiography of my Mother takes place in the Caribbean, whereas Nervous Conditions happens in Rhodesia, or colonial Zimbabwe, in the 1960s. Further, while I got the distinct impression that Kincaid was a poet first and a novelist second, Tsitsi Dangarembga, the author of Nervous Conditions, doesn't give me that impression. In fact, she kind of reminds me of a Black female Nathaniel Hawthorne, if only in that her sentences are pretty long.[In my book, an automatic plus-- Hawthorne-iness is as close to godliness as most can get ] But both protagonists are kind of fierce, or at least Tambu, Nervous Conditions' protagonist, is. If the first sentence didn't demonstrate that she's a sort of tough cookie.
The book is pretty heavily feminist, I'd say-- perhaps only second in focus to race in the novel. The author also says so in an interview in my edition of the book, I think. There are a lot of bad men in this novel, from Tambu's father on up-- bad women too. But Tambu is a very strong character, and though I think I remember being bothered by her at times, I really was rooting for her the whole way through. She has to go through a lot of mess.
This is seriously one of the best books I've read in a while. I feel like I read a lot of crazy books most of the time, or at least books that aren't very connected to my life or anything that I can relate to-- stuff from Victorian England, Japanese Post-Modernism, what have you. But, as a young black person I guess, I really related to this book. And even if you're not young or black[if you're not a person...we'll probably have issues], there's still a lot to gain and a lot of struggle to relate to. And it's extremely well-written. Probably one of my favorite books of all time.
I'll try to write an actual review at some point-- it deserves one. Unfortunately, this isn't my book-- I borrowed it from a friend,. So I should probably write it soon, before I forget most of the details[too late?] or before someone else wants to borrow it.
Speaking of Victorian England, I've really got an urging to reread some Proust. That's another writer I like-- he's French. He's amazing. If you like old, stuffy writing, then you will probably love Proust, if you don't already. He wrote Swann's Way/A Rememberance of Things Past/Whatever's the Current translation for his trilogy.
So, that's what I've got to say about books.
Otherwise, things were fine-- my week always sucks on Monday[class from 8-7:30...that's right], sucks less on Tuesday[Class from 1-7:30], and starts getting great from Wednesday onwards. And it's Wednesday night so...holla. Went to class, hung with the classmates/friends, typical stuff.
Also, this typhoon business is done now. And somehow, when I woke up this morning, all of the water was completely gone-- I have no idea where it went, but I can only say that Chinese sewage systems must put American sewage systems to shame. Back in Jersey City, were we to get as much rain as we just did over here, we'd have water in the streets for years. I like to think there are some elves trapped away at this school and they all whisked the water away in their fancy boots.
Otherwise I, predictably, decided I wanted to censure my previous entries about Pablo. I'm not sure if I'll go in and edit. Maybe, probably not-- they were my honest thoughts for the most part, afterall. But the reasoning for this censuring is that I think I've regained some of my confidence and sanity. I don't know what it is about boys that makes me turn into a neurotic ass-- I was reminding myself of all of my female friends, combined into some homotional monster, haha. "Why is he texting me? What does he want from me? Should I say that-- what if I come off too obsessive? Why didn't he text me back-- it's been three hours." My goodness. It's such an odd position to be in.
So, to fix the situation, I decided to watch Noah's Arc and Queer as Folk. QAF really did the trick-- as much as Brian grosses me out, he is such a pimp. Such a true pimp.
Anyway my head is back on straight, I think-- one boy is rarely worth that much stress. In fact, I'm pretty sure I just haven't been using my time well enough, which is why I always seem to have the time to think about him. So, I decided I need more stuff to do.
I kinda forgot about my goal to step my reading into overdrive, so that will be back on. Also, one of my friends was thinking of running a marathon, and I think that's a great idea. So I think I decided I was gonna start training, Steven-style.[Which really means running on the track with incremental increases.] Plus, I really need to focus more on Chinese-- I speak with people and do my homework, but I don't think I'm doing the most I can to improve. So there's that.
I also decided I should probably get other prospects/hoes so that I'm not thinking about Pablo so often. I will keep you updated.
That's about it, for now. I'm pretty tied as well and I want to go to the gym in the morning tomorrow, so I will be heading off to bed now.
Deuces.
It's pretty amusing that I'm STILL READING The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, even though I finished Oracle Bones, which is probably around the same length, in about three to four days. I started Nervous Conditions, which is around half the size, on Saturday, finished it the next day. I've been ready The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle for at least two months.
It's an amazing book, so it's not because Oracle Bones is a better/easier read. TWUBC shits all over Oracle Bones. As much as I hate to admit it, it must be because despite the fact that I can find eBooks for...well, free, they are still not easy for me to read, compared to their physical copies. Bummer. [To be fair, I also rarely have time to give TWUBC the dedication I gave to the other two. My laptop rarely leaves my room, so I only read TWUBC when I'm here, which isn't too often. I can take regular books anywhere, and usually do-- dinner, class, wherever.]
But as I was saying, Nervous Conditions is an amazing book. I would like to say it reminds me of Jamaica Kincaid's "The Autobiography of my Mother" but the comparison might not actually be very fitting aferall. The only similarity that I can think of is that they're both black female protagonists with semi-similar personalities...maybe. But the settings of each novel and the voices used by each author are completely different. If I remember correctly, The Autobiography of my Mother takes place in the Caribbean, whereas Nervous Conditions happens in Rhodesia, or colonial Zimbabwe, in the 1960s. Further, while I got the distinct impression that Kincaid was a poet first and a novelist second, Tsitsi Dangarembga, the author of Nervous Conditions, doesn't give me that impression. In fact, she kind of reminds me of a Black female Nathaniel Hawthorne, if only in that her sentences are pretty long.[In my book, an automatic plus-- Hawthorne-iness is as close to godliness as most can get ] But both protagonists are kind of fierce, or at least Tambu, Nervous Conditions' protagonist, is. If the first sentence didn't demonstrate that she's a sort of tough cookie.
The book is pretty heavily feminist, I'd say-- perhaps only second in focus to race in the novel. The author also says so in an interview in my edition of the book, I think. There are a lot of bad men in this novel, from Tambu's father on up-- bad women too. But Tambu is a very strong character, and though I think I remember being bothered by her at times, I really was rooting for her the whole way through. She has to go through a lot of mess.
This is seriously one of the best books I've read in a while. I feel like I read a lot of crazy books most of the time, or at least books that aren't very connected to my life or anything that I can relate to-- stuff from Victorian England, Japanese Post-Modernism, what have you. But, as a young black person I guess, I really related to this book. And even if you're not young or black[if you're not a person...we'll probably have issues], there's still a lot to gain and a lot of struggle to relate to. And it's extremely well-written. Probably one of my favorite books of all time.
I'll try to write an actual review at some point-- it deserves one. Unfortunately, this isn't my book-- I borrowed it from a friend,. So I should probably write it soon, before I forget most of the details[too late?] or before someone else wants to borrow it.
Speaking of Victorian England, I've really got an urging to reread some Proust. That's another writer I like-- he's French. He's amazing. If you like old, stuffy writing, then you will probably love Proust, if you don't already. He wrote Swann's Way/A Rememberance of Things Past/Whatever's the Current translation for his trilogy.
So, that's what I've got to say about books.
Otherwise, things were fine-- my week always sucks on Monday[class from 8-7:30...that's right], sucks less on Tuesday[Class from 1-7:30], and starts getting great from Wednesday onwards. And it's Wednesday night so...holla. Went to class, hung with the classmates/friends, typical stuff.
Also, this typhoon business is done now. And somehow, when I woke up this morning, all of the water was completely gone-- I have no idea where it went, but I can only say that Chinese sewage systems must put American sewage systems to shame. Back in Jersey City, were we to get as much rain as we just did over here, we'd have water in the streets for years. I like to think there are some elves trapped away at this school and they all whisked the water away in their fancy boots.
Otherwise I, predictably, decided I wanted to censure my previous entries about Pablo. I'm not sure if I'll go in and edit. Maybe, probably not-- they were my honest thoughts for the most part, afterall. But the reasoning for this censuring is that I think I've regained some of my confidence and sanity. I don't know what it is about boys that makes me turn into a neurotic ass-- I was reminding myself of all of my female friends, combined into some homotional monster, haha. "Why is he texting me? What does he want from me? Should I say that-- what if I come off too obsessive? Why didn't he text me back-- it's been three hours." My goodness. It's such an odd position to be in.
So, to fix the situation, I decided to watch Noah's Arc and Queer as Folk. QAF really did the trick-- as much as Brian grosses me out, he is such a pimp. Such a true pimp.
Anyway my head is back on straight, I think-- one boy is rarely worth that much stress. In fact, I'm pretty sure I just haven't been using my time well enough, which is why I always seem to have the time to think about him. So, I decided I need more stuff to do.
I kinda forgot about my goal to step my reading into overdrive, so that will be back on. Also, one of my friends was thinking of running a marathon, and I think that's a great idea. So I think I decided I was gonna start training, Steven-style.[Which really means running on the track with incremental increases.] Plus, I really need to focus more on Chinese-- I speak with people and do my homework, but I don't think I'm doing the most I can to improve. So there's that.
I also decided I should probably get other prospects/hoes so that I'm not thinking about Pablo so often. I will keep you updated.
That's about it, for now. I'm pretty tied as well and I want to go to the gym in the morning tomorrow, so I will be heading off to bed now.
Deuces.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
I'd like to say I've been on a Lily Allen kick, but it's really that I've been watching too much Noah's Arc[again] and one of her songs was in it.
Hi y'all. I'm a mess.
There's a lot that's happened and I feel pretty bad for not even trying to keep regular updates. I'm gonna try to get everything together starting now.
I'd normally try to recap EVERY MAJOR THING that has happened since my arrival into the big Chi-Na, but I think I've decided that it'd be easier for me to do things little by little as my memory returns.
So, some major points.
1. I am twenty.
Today, October 7th, marks the day that my mother popped my fatass head out of her birth canal and brought me, Steven, into this world. It's pretty exciting. Most people who know me well have probably heard me say some pretty fearful statements about reaching thirty, but I think I'm actually getting over it. Don't fear death; embrace it.[Not that thirty is death or anything...it just feels like it.]
My mom should be calling me tonight. Now I can finally open the gift my grandmother gave me in AUGUST.[Haha, I'm proud of myself for not opening it until now.]
So, what did I do for my birthday? I went to the local gay club[which is fairly whack, btw], of course. And I met some Argentinian boy named Pablo, 24, who happens to be studying at my university as well and...blah blah blah.
To be frank, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole matter. I decided recently that as noble as I think celibacy is, I'm also a19 20 year old man. I want to be reckless. Maybe I'll reconsider celibacy later on, but as for now, forget it.
But even so, I just don't know where this is supposed to go. I'm gonna try to just stay with the moment, I guess.
Anyway. The greatest part of the night was making out with Pablo on the dance floor. I felt like it was Queer as Folk or some shit: dancing and getting all close on the floor, having everyone look at us.[Minus a subsequent gay-bashing/bat to the head in the parking lot, of course] I really could have had the night end right there; it made my night. He's very beautiful; I'll try to snag a picture if we meet up again. The whole situation was fairly bizarre: he was the first person who talked to me when I walked in. I thought it was just the instant-foreigner connection, if only because he's' prettier than me. And so I thought we'd just chill, drink beers together. And suddenly we're getting all close. Oh well.
It's just funny, 'cause earlier this week I was complaining about how I missed black/hispanic guys.
We also met some lesbians, they were cool. I love lesbians. They were a little old and dry, though.
2. Now that boy mess is out of the way...
I am an environmental threat.
That's right. A few days ago, Friday I believe, I ate a cicada. That's right. I have gone crazy.
I'll try to put pictures in the photoblog that will be started shortly.
It actually wasn't that bad; it was like beef jerky. With legs. Who am I kidding: that mess was gross to the max. I was peer pressured into it by my classmates.
Next, I killed a chicken. Took a fairly dull knife, and sawed its head right off.
The context is that we were enjoying the national holiday, which has been going on since October 1st to today, October 7th. We were near Lishui, a city further south in Zhejiang Province, and visitng the Shir people's village. The Shir people are a minority in China.
So, while we were in the village, we had to participate in a marriage; my classmates and I elected who would be what. And I was elected to be the bride's brother. Or uncle. I'm not sure myself, actually. Whoever I was , I had to kill the chicken.
And the rest is history. It's a pretty odd feeling, though, bearing the moral culpability in my own hands. It's certainly easier just to go to McDonald's and order some Chicken McNuggets. People kept calling me a killer/murderer.[Aren't we all?]
3. I'm tired.
I'm pretty proud of myself for doing this much. Of course, I can still write about random Chinese kids people thinking it's okay to touch my hair and rub my skin ...or Korean people asking me if I play basketball. Or people telling me I resemble Kobe Bryant[haha, child please, let's forget the two foot difference]/assuming I'm African/whatever. But I can do those later.
What was the final push to get me updating was Steven Emmanuel/Queer Kid of Color, I think; I was reading Clik, specifically his interview of Jonathan Perry, and I was reminded of how much I love people. black people. black gay people. and everyone else. haha. And so, I just had to get my head out of my ass and get my shit together.
Deuces.
Hi y'all. I'm a mess.
There's a lot that's happened and I feel pretty bad for not even trying to keep regular updates. I'm gonna try to get everything together starting now.
I'd normally try to recap EVERY MAJOR THING that has happened since my arrival into the big Chi-Na, but I think I've decided that it'd be easier for me to do things little by little as my memory returns.
So, some major points.
1. I am twenty.
Today, October 7th, marks the day that my mother popped my fatass head out of her birth canal and brought me, Steven, into this world. It's pretty exciting. Most people who know me well have probably heard me say some pretty fearful statements about reaching thirty, but I think I'm actually getting over it. Don't fear death; embrace it.[Not that thirty is death or anything...it just feels like it.]
My mom should be calling me tonight. Now I can finally open the gift my grandmother gave me in AUGUST.[Haha, I'm proud of myself for not opening it until now.]
So, what did I do for my birthday? I went to the local gay club[which is fairly whack, btw], of course. And I met some Argentinian boy named Pablo, 24, who happens to be studying at my university as well and...blah blah blah.
To be frank, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole matter. I decided recently that as noble as I think celibacy is, I'm also a
But even so, I just don't know where this is supposed to go. I'm gonna try to just stay with the moment, I guess.
Anyway. The greatest part of the night was making out with Pablo on the dance floor. I felt like it was Queer as Folk or some shit: dancing and getting all close on the floor, having everyone look at us.[Minus a subsequent gay-bashing/bat to the head in the parking lot, of course] I really could have had the night end right there; it made my night. He's very beautiful; I'll try to snag a picture if we meet up again. The whole situation was fairly bizarre: he was the first person who talked to me when I walked in. I thought it was just the instant-foreigner connection, if only because he's' prettier than me. And so I thought we'd just chill, drink beers together. And suddenly we're getting all close. Oh well.
It's just funny, 'cause earlier this week I was complaining about how I missed black/hispanic guys.
We also met some lesbians, they were cool. I love lesbians. They were a little old and dry, though.
2. Now that boy mess is out of the way...
I am an environmental threat.
That's right. A few days ago, Friday I believe, I ate a cicada. That's right. I have gone crazy.
I'll try to put pictures in the photoblog that will be started shortly.
It actually wasn't that bad; it was like beef jerky. With legs. Who am I kidding: that mess was gross to the max. I was peer pressured into it by my classmates.
Next, I killed a chicken. Took a fairly dull knife, and sawed its head right off.
The context is that we were enjoying the national holiday, which has been going on since October 1st to today, October 7th. We were near Lishui, a city further south in Zhejiang Province, and visitng the Shir people's village. The Shir people are a minority in China.
So, while we were in the village, we had to participate in a marriage; my classmates and I elected who would be what. And I was elected to be the bride's brother. Or uncle. I'm not sure myself, actually. Whoever I was , I had to kill the chicken.
And the rest is history. It's a pretty odd feeling, though, bearing the moral culpability in my own hands. It's certainly easier just to go to McDonald's and order some Chicken McNuggets. People kept calling me a killer/murderer.[Aren't we all?]
3. I'm tired.
I'm pretty proud of myself for doing this much. Of course, I can still write about random Chinese kids people thinking it's okay to touch my hair and rub my skin ...or Korean people asking me if I play basketball. Or people telling me I resemble Kobe Bryant[haha, child please, let's forget the two foot difference]/assuming I'm African/whatever. But I can do those later.
What was the final push to get me updating was Steven Emmanuel/Queer Kid of Color, I think; I was reading Clik, specifically his interview of Jonathan Perry, and I was reminded of how much I love people. black people. black gay people. and everyone else. haha. And so, I just had to get my head out of my ass and get my shit together.
Deuces.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
She looked at me and told me my dramatics needed more work.
Hey.
Apologies are in order-- I haven't updated in too long. I'm going to keep this brief: I'm in China, have been here for about two weeks now, I think. Certainly an interesting experience.
It's 12 AM right now over here, exactly twelve hours ahead of the Eastern time zone back in the US.
I'm planning on starting a photoblog at some point soon and keep this at least somewhat updated-- there's stuff to say, y'know. I'm actually about to head to sleep but I was feeling guilty all of a sudden for not updating.
I will do more later, promise.
<3s
Apologies are in order-- I haven't updated in too long. I'm going to keep this brief: I'm in China, have been here for about two weeks now, I think. Certainly an interesting experience.
It's 12 AM right now over here, exactly twelve hours ahead of the Eastern time zone back in the US.
I'm planning on starting a photoblog at some point soon and keep this at least somewhat updated-- there's stuff to say, y'know. I'm actually about to head to sleep but I was feeling guilty all of a sudden for not updating.
I will do more later, promise.
<3s
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
