Boy in my pocket, wine on my lips

So, I'm gonna let people into another messy thing I do.

If there's someone who claims to be interested in me in ANY fashion, or who displays signs of such, I try to push them onto someone else.

I'm not entirely sure WHY I do it. Part of it is disinterest, or at least wanting to be disinterested, which is almost the same anyway. Another part goes back to some naive notions I have about feelings-- that if I like someone, being presented with another person won't make me change my direction, no matter how many times I've been spurned. Feelings just don't die that easily-- if they do, then they're probably illusory. I sometimes feel things should be the same for other people.

[EDIT: Actually, on reading that...I'm not so sure I agree with that anymore.]

Either way, it's hella passive aggressive and I need to stop doing that. I did it last night with two guys who were getting a little too...close-- helped them hook up, that is. And I guess it's a good thing-- no more hooking up with randoms. There's just...no point. Only making my dissatisfaction that much more tiresome.

I figure with all the travel deals and political entries, I should make a messy entry about myself.

So, I'm walking back home, looking at my shoes, wondering why I'm such a passive- aggressive idiot, talking to myself about how great it is that I hooked up two people and have no one to come home to. And so I go on with my soliloquy to my audience of one, but then I concluded that at least my new "single&fabulous" lifestyle has actually withstood the test. Studying, food, clothes, money, family/friends-- that's all I'm about right now.

Chang chang, getting paid over here.
I'm still drunk, which is why I believe this entry is so...candid.

The BEST thing about today is that I'm possibly going to get a free trip to the dining hall with some of my good friends from less-cool dorms, and that afterwards I'm gonna be brunching/studying with my new gay BFF.

He's fabulous, I'm fabulous, and his current BFF is neglectful. So I'm moving in.

I am so excited!
[Or at least I can pretend. I actually...want to punch walls and scream about what my life's become.]

GRAH.

Anyone want to go to Iceland?

I bet you wish I was joking.

"it's $699 for everything from November till March for double occupancy and 5 days 4 nights instead of 4/3."

So...week vacation in Iceland with me, anyone? And the Iceland's Krona's down so it's pretty much cheap cheap city. Go while supplies last!

http://www.icelandair.us/offers-and-bookings/book-packages/package/item202501/Winter_Wellness_Getaway_in_Iceland_/

Or...Dominican Republic?
http://www.cheapcaribbean.com/core/specials/specialAvailability-cc-3258.html

Or Puerto Rico?
http://www.cheapcaribbean.com/specialAvailability.jsp?pacID=2675

And this is pretty much what I've been doing all day. Intermittently reading my illegally downloaded LSATs prep books and looking at deals on the forums slickdeals.net.

I even bought an mp3 player-- the exact same model that I bought my mom for her birthday last her. 2gig sansa. I forget what I paid for hers, but it was definitely more than mine-- $25. I mean, goodness...I spend more on alcohol. Why not. Refurbished, but the kids on slickdeals gave it a good review, so it should be safe.

It's nice not to have class.

So yeah, any takers on Iceland?
Let a brother know!

And here I thought...

Most of the major neocons loved Sarah Palin.

" The choice of Sarah Palin was also a mistake. I'm talking here about its political effects, not the sideshow psychodrama of feminist rage and elite loathing that had little to do with politics and everything to do with cultural prejudices, resentments and affectations.

Palin was a mistake ("near suicidal," I wrote on the day of her selection) because she completely undercut McCain's principal case against Obama: his inexperience and unreadiness to lead. And her nomination not only intellectually undermined the readiness argument. It changed the election dynamic by shifting attention, for days on end, to Palin's preparedness, fitness and experience -- and away from Obama's. "

Source: The Campaign Autopsy, by Charles Krauthammer

Perhaps I have been overplaying Palin's popularity.
Oh well. Back to "work."

Sweet land, sore stones

If there's one thing being abroad has done for me, it's given me a love for politics.

Which isn't to say I didn't enjoy politics before I left-- I did. But I only started actively reading political material outside of class after I encountered fairly antiAmerican feeling abroad.

If you'll take a break from the Obama-steria for a minute, I'd like to direct you to an article on Medvedev's state of the nation address today.

Medvedev article.

From the article:

"Mr Medvedev blamed the US for the global financial crisis, saying that the rest of the world had been "dragged down with it into recession". He claimed that the era of American domination after the collapse of the Soviet Union was now over.

'The world cannot be ruled from one capital. Those who do not want to understand this will only create new problems for themselves and others,' he said. "

That's what he thinks.
The unipolar moment has not ended. While Russia will attempt to reestablish its sphere of influence and China will continue to grow, jerkily[I'm waiting for the next food scare], Mevedev's forceful language about Washington's ability to rule the world is unconvincing.

This empire's still got time left. And I think people are gonna be surprised by how much more effective Obama's hand at it is going to be. Dominance with a smiling face, under the guise of US-directed multilaterism.

Curiously, Medvedev didn't mention Obama's victory not once. It partly seems passive agressive, partly imprudent. But I also remember a statement from Medvedev about his dissatisfaction with both candidates, so I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that he failed to mention Obama as the POTUS elect.

I cannot wait to see Obama's appointees.

II.

I think one of the most major barriers to education is knowing where to get it.
Or at least for me.

No matter how much I read DailyKos, MyDD, Powerline, and so forth, I could never catch up to the know-it-alls in my political science classes.

I think I'm getting closer.

Step one: Pundits aren't that important.
They aren't. The aforementioned may be popular, but bloggers have yet to become as influential as guys like William Kristol, Paul Krugman, etc.

Step two: Find stuff?

I'll now share what I'm trying to read.

The Economist.
Bloomberg.
The Weekly Standard.
The Council on Foreign Affairs.

As well as other things like The Drudge Report, The Telegraph, NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post.

Part III?
I kind of want to be a politician, after hearing about some of the voter fraud going on at home.
We'll see.

--

And these are my thoughts on a post-Obama victory day.
I'm at work.
I have a midterm in that blasted anime class today. Hopefully I do well enough to counteract my bad grade on the paper.

Later.

My President...

Obama.

Now let's just hope he doesn't actually govern like a neocon, despite some of his rhetoric.

I tend to think image and prestige matter quite a bit, perhaps even more than policy in some ways, though, so. I am looking forward to being abroad in a year or so and talking to non-Americans, seeing that they can actually respect the power the US wields.

But we'll see.

I need a copy of the Weekly Standard.

"Get your life together. You have twenty-four hours."

The tagline is exactly how I feel.

I was going through facebook and reliving everything that's happened over the past year. In doing so, I guess I started to remember everything I was supposed to be doing this year. My conflicted feelings over where I want to be-- China, Japan, America, Argentina. And I don't feel any closer to knowing than I was months ago.

It also turns out that a boy I tutored in China, Cyrus, is here in Boston! Which is utterly ridiculous. Well, the boy does have loads of money, so I never thought the opportunity would be an issue. But he was supposed to be doing his internship in Shanghai...yet he's already here!

I really have to go see him as soon as possible but Bank of America has refused to post my pay-check deposit so...we'll have to wait. 'Cause, when you meet up with Chinese people in your own country, you have to treat them and stuff...gotta make sure I have my financial situation together.


But back to the confusion. I really need to keep my options open. I really should be making sure my Spanish, Japanese, and Chinese are in as good a shape as they can be...and they're not, because I don't do more than what's required. So I will be studying all day today.

I also need to get to prepping for LSATs. A friend of mine got her results back and they were not good. I've been hiding from them-- hiding from everything, really, but the LSATs are the biggest. GREs are second. I will be downloading a prepbook today.

Luckily it's still early. Maybe I can get some studying done this morning before I have to do my homework.

And boy, is there homework.
--Poli Sci paper
--finish reading Haruki Murakami and making up questions[Japanese]
--prep for & take Chinese [take home] test and read the next short story
--chunks of philosophy reading & discussion board posting
--catch up in reading for my anime class

The last one might be negotiable.

Feeling really motivated, but I know how my brain works-- I'll forget soon.

And...the Velvet Rope is amazing.
Cheers.

Reification & Overtures

I was really trying to put this blog on hiatus. In fact, it was a larger move of taking myself off of the internet altogether-- no more AIM, facebook, what have you.

I ultimately decided against it but...I do want to be online less.

Except for blogging.

Anyway, some things have happened in the past two weeks. The main thing is my constant stock of wine. Nowadays, I just chill around listening to Sylvain Chauveau and Janet Jackson[The Velvet Rope]. Drinking wine, relaxing, being boring. And shopping, of course.

Paycheck this Friday...hallelujah.

Had a slight altercation today with the Chinese department head today. It was hilarious. Over an eMail I sent her.

It is as follows:

Hi,

My name is Steven ******; I'm a senior at Tufts. I'm doing an independent study right now
with Li laoshi, but it's come to my attention that I'm enrolled in your section of the
independent study on SIS. I left a drop form in your box outside your door-- I was
wondering if you could sign your name on the drop section of the form? That way I can fix
everything up on SIS.

Thanks for your time.

Best,
Steven ******
--

She never responds. So I get to her office, just thinking I'll pick up the form and bounce. Instead...I get there and she proceeds to go into lecture mode.

"Why didn't you fill it out?"
"I suppose it slipped my mind. I figured I'd explain everything in the eMail."

And then she replied with some nonsense about how wrong I was for not filling it out beforehand. Fine, woman, sorry.

But then she's apparently not done-- the tone of my eMail was improper conduct. Um, what?

"As a student in an advanced level Chinese class, you should really know this sort of thing regarding Chinese culture-- you don't address a professor with 'Hi', much less once you've never met. Don't think I'm singling you out-- I had to do this with someone else the other day. But it's really disrespectful to do that...do you understand what I mean?"
"Sure. I apologize for the disrespectful tone of my eMail."
"No, you don't really get it-- it's about Chinese culture, blah blah blah."

CHICK, WHAT?

I just wanted to laugh in her face.
She was trying it. I really didn't have time for her bullshit-- I planned on just picking up the drop form, running to work. Instead...she kept me for ten minutes and made me late to admonish me on my inadequate understanding of Chinese culture.

I really couldn't believe it. For one, we've met before, albeit briefly. Two, I've eMailed professors with "Hi" before, including professors I'd yet to meet. This is the first time I've been told how grand a show of disrespect it is.

Or perhaps it's that "you don't interact with Chinese professors that way" BS.

Then she disbelieved that I was taking the Chinese class with Li laoshi, that she didn't think I was actually registered in her own section in the first place, and just unnecessary acrobatics.

I was this close to dismissing her immediately. And when I say "this", I'm pinching my index finger and my thumb together very close.

So she eventually signed my form-- I said a quick thank you and shut her door.
If I ever see that woman, it will be too soon.

Unnecessary bullshit.
--

Otherwise, things have been great.
I just made quesadillas.
And now I might try to study.

Deuces.