Boulders on my black body.

I just received an email about a discriminatory act towards homosexuals that happened in Newark, NJ. I actually wasn't very moved by this, but...

The eMail did have nice buttons about taking action and stuff, and I can at least recognize what's wrong[even if it doesn't actually get me fired up].

The Article:

UNACCEPTABLE! Newark school district removes same-sex photo from high school yearbook

As reported in today's Star-Ledger, Newark school officials, just before distributing yearbooks to students at East Side High School, took magic markers to cover up a yearbook photo of an 18-year-old graduating senior kissing his boyfriend. The school district says the photo was "illicit" -- but that's homophobic nonsense! First, the photo is of two guys kissing and nothing more. Secondly, the school district DID NOT TOUCH THE PHOTOS OF STRAIGHT STUDENTS KISSING THEIR OPPOSITE-SEX BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS.

This is outrageous! Write to Newark schools superintendent Marion Bolden asking her to redistribute the yearbooks without the photo covered up -- and demand that she publicly apologize to the student, his boyfriend and the LGBTI community. The school district's action shows incredible insensitivity and intolerance. We must reverse it.

----

Participate if you want-- all it requires is a few minutes. Worst thing that might happen is you being put on an eMail list.

[Wow, I think I felt my halo tingle.]

The television is on in his bedroom eyes.

Okay, I'm probably going to seem like the dorkiest, most pathetic person ever...but...

Could my life be turning into NOAH'S ARC?

Hahahahahaha.

I'm partially kidding.

Yesterday, Summer and I went to the LGBT center in NY to practice Spanish. It was really cool-- I've never been there before and I got to skip the $5 fee since I came an hour and a half late. And it was really small and cozy-- met some new people! Jennifer, the straight ally, Jun and Winston, the not so straight allies, and some other cat who went to Brandeis whose name I don't remember.

Anyway,Summer and I are apparently going to Winston's church this Sunday before Pride-- he just called today to give me some directions that I'll probably forget. Directions and I do not mix. Anyway, when I was on the phone with him, I thought: he fits Chance's role perfectly! Mature, stable, intelligent, partnered. This is like the episode where Chance takes everyone to church. Bam.

Summercan be Ricky, since she flirts with everyone.[Including Latinas on trains with their boyfriends inches away from us, haha, priceless. "Ella habla espanol tambien! Oh nooo"(after trying to talk about said Latina in Spanish in front of her)]

Jun isn't effeminate enough to play Alex...neither is Nakeefa, haha. But she is whacky enough. We'll see.

I just got really excited, haha. But I think I'm just too obsessed with that show.

Anyway, besides not having any sort of career prospects or anything, things are TOTALLY GR8. I'm kind of giving up on my unsupervised Chinese adventures anyway, so whatever.

<3s.

Fort Dix and Candlesticks.

I couldn't help feeling guilty about not having any new words lately. If there's anything that's important, it's a strong vocabulary.

So, I'm going to make up for everything with two new words.

descry - to see or catch sight of, often from a distance, as in: When I descry the island, I'll shout, "Land Ho!"

gainsay - challenge: take exception to; "She challenged his claims"

Ah, relief.

Otherwise, I don't actually have much to say-- I'm just trying to put out more entries more often. I went "driving" today with my grandparents, which really means I practiced parking. I was a lot better today with the parallel parking thing-- I'd like to say it's because I get it more, but I really don't think it is. Like, I'm not really noticing anything specific about how to park accurately. My grandparents have just given me instructions so often that I can hear my grandfather's voice in my head when I'm nearing a certain point, so I just start turning the wheel.

Not sure if that's gonna hurt me in the long run, haha. Definitely need to read through the driver's manual again.

Otherwise, today was a pretty good father's day. Went with my mom last night to get my grandfather some shirts, rode bikes with my aunt for a little while, took a trip down memory lane with my grandparents. "Man, y'all kids have it easy...back when we were young, we used to ride the mules and milk the cows and all that...and y'all don't know what real plums taste like, down in the South they just come so sweet..." and so on. It's pretty funny.

But I guess I was wondering-- my mom and my aunt were getting on me for not getting my mother anything for Father's day. Since my mother's done the parenting thing by herself, they were saying that she's both my mother and my father. I find that kinda bogus-- she's a super-mother, not my father. Anyway, I was just wondering what other people's takes might be-- not necessarily in regards to father's day, but your opinion on a mother's ability to serve as a father, or whatever.

I'm kinda tired, so I may hit the hay. I'll catch y'all on the flip side.

[And I still haven't seen Fantastic Four! I've even seen that Ocean's 13 mess. WHY must I see all of these sequels without having seen the originals? Urgh splat.]

Crouched on a couch and ready for more.

It's seriously as if some vague, malevolent being does NOT want me to study abroad. Not to be overdramatic, but I am thinking that even IF I get everything sorted out, right before I am boarding my plane to Chicago/Michigan/wherever the layover is from which I am going to China, I will be hit by a bus.

I'm thinking of looking for my old rabbit's foot.

It started with my passport. But I needed to order my birth certificate. Then I had to go to Trenton and apply in person for my birth certificate. Then I needed to get someone to give me an address. Then they MISSPELL my middle name on my passport, which I can't correct because deadlines are coming.

And now, apparently some blockhead from my building has stolen my Chinese Visa forms. What good someone thinks might come from having a slip of paper in Chinese addressed to me, I don't know. Oh, maybe it might be that my social security number is on it?

Like, I'm just in shock kind of. I found out yesterday-- this person working at the Study Abroad office was like, "send this in by the 18th, blah blah", and I'm like..."Me no have." "They required signatures right, to get them?""...Oops."

And so, DHL just left them in the hallway.

I'm really seeing problems with my passport-- the misspelling is probably going to be a big deal when I get over there. Actually, I'm pretty sure things are just gonna go wrong-- and it's annoying, because I actually do have intentions of, y'know, getting shit done, getting a job. But then I have these emails & phone calls to deal with, trying to track down letters and figuring out what I'm going to do about my visa.

I miss being lucky. I'm even tempted to read my horoscope, just to see if there's any hope in the near future, heh.

[I'm also reminded of eating Chinese with Summer and Nakeefa recently, and my fortune cookie saying, "Better luck next time" or something like that. Haha. Oh, man.]

Otherwise, being me is completely fabulous. =P Permanently a pimp.

She put her fist in a kaleidoscope to show me all the colors of her strength.

So, Gaza is in semi-anarchy?

Honestly, I don't even know where to start.


Also, am I the only one who is really tired of the slobbery blow job the media is giving Paris Hilton? Seriously.

I think it was even on CNN the other day; Paris Hilton released a statement urging people to pay less attention to her and more attention to our troops and other issues.[Or something to that effect.] And then, of course, we have to go into her motive-- oh, she says this, but she really DOES want for everyone to hover on her jock. She's so bad, she's so destroying the American idea of justice, blah blah blah.

Regardless of getting into all that, can't we just look at the message of the statement-- namely, that there's a lot more important stuff going on than Paris cheating the legal system? I guess that might not be very persuasive. For example, the millions of people dying from HIV might be more important than the thousands threatened by cervical cancer in the US, but that doesn't make cervical cancer any less of an issue. I guess it's a good thing that people are up in arms about the perks we give our celebrities, though. I'll just be avoiding the coverage.

The argument I want to make about ethical behavior is full of holes, though. I need to re-read some stuff about ethics.

No new word, I know.

No job applications, either.[Oops.]

I can smell a revolution on my upper lip: I'm gonna kiss and tell.

Don't mind the title. There was some cool idea in my head but my fingers have minds of their own.

New Word:

Encomium - a formal expression of praise

I can...work with that.

Okay, I've actually had things to write about for the past few days[like, my violent dreams, my drama with passports and visas, and my mother's birthday, for examples] but I've been too listless to actually commit myself to writing an entry.

This entry will probably be about talking more mess about goals, only to forget them later. I need to think of a new strategy for sticking to these things. Anyone got any ideas?[I was gonna do post-its...but I was discouraged when I couldn't find any around. I'll look again.]

It's already June and I've already forgotten every goal I made for New Year's.[Though, knowing me, working out was probably one of them.] It's ridiculous. So, maybe I should just be understanding of myself, of my bad memory and my bad resolve, and make goals every few weeks. That way, it's always fresh on my mind.

I don't know.

A few goals.

1. Job by the end of next week.[Supplement: Bet with Pierrette for $10.] Get this stick out of my ass and this pretension out of my mind hinging on comparison with my peers-- the time's gone for an impressive job. Now, I just need cash. I wonder how many jibes I'm going to need from my friends and family before I feel any sense of urgency. Like, it's ridiculous-- I talk a lot of garbage about needing a job, boo freaking hoo, but I don't feel anything. So nothing happens. I'm having trouble churning out determination.

It's also not exactly as if I haven't been trying-- I've sent my resume to about 20 places to date. But it probably also has something to do with the fact that I have been applying to jobs out of my reach. Maybe.

2. Workout every other day. I did some pushups yesterday, I think. Which means tomorrow is gonna my lifting day. More cardio, better eating, all that mess that I haven't followed through on.

3. RE-LEARN CODING. It's funny, because I spend so much time near or on a computer being indolent and doing absolutely nothing, when I could be spending that time learning stuff about programming. And it's not like the tools aren't there. So...I'm gonna work on that. At least practice for like an hour or two a day. Maybe I'll set an alarm for coding time.

4. Two+ chapters in my Chinese textbooks everyday, half a chapter+ in my Japanese book every day. To my credit, I actually have been doing a lot of Chinese and Japanese reading online, mainly Japanese. So, I don't feel too pressed about this one-- I've been more or less keeping up at a pace I wanted to.

5. Read some books. I won't press this either because I've been pretty good about reading. And when I get a job, hopefully I won't have the time.

6. Less ego. I really need to get truly embarrassed. I think I've been really overconfident lately and I need to get out of this...mood.

7. Write a half of a novel or script by the end of June. With Summer having had me read the script she's been working on, I was really impressed and disappointed in myself. My writing has really become nonexistent-- even poetry, I don't even do that anymore. Also, I was reading Trouble Boy, which I meant to review but...didn't. Anyway, the main character has a script he's writing, and that just reminded me all the more about how I've been neglecting my writing.

A few problems: the form of the writing? I definitely prefer reading long, verbose prose which seems to point in the direction of a novel. But, especially with a small acting background, I like scripts as well-- they're easier to handle and they seem a lot more straight forward. They also just seem downright easier to write. But I also have no eye for direction/filming/whatever, so that's another point in the direction of the novel idea. I know there are alternatives-- short stories, poems, whatever. What I think might wind up happening is a novel...with really short chapters. =P

There's also the problem of content-- I have a few ideas in my head, but one of them has always been based on a semi-autobiographical protagonist/narrator. And Summer already has a straight-laced, black gay male as her lead, so...it sort of feels like copying. On the other hand, I do feel as if I have a very specific story to tell, but I really didn't want to base anyone so closely on my life anyway.

There's also the problem of this being my first shot at anything substantial-- I feel as if I'm actually going to do this, I should try a trial run with something less important to me? I feel as if I'd be biased towards something so close to me and not be as critical as I would need to be.

We'll see. I'm kind of unsure about things, now.

8. Talk to people LESS online. Without spilling any beans or getting further into it, it's as if I cannot like people online and in real life. Maybe it's the disconnect between "netiquette"[which I just heard of today] and etiquette.


I'm really just thinking of limiting my contact with social networking sites as much as possible. It's bad.

9. I forgot.

Well, this post is probably long enough.

Deuces.

ETA: Oh, I remembered for lucky number nine. Write shorter entries, more often.

Que embarrassing.

How utterly embarrassing.

Either I'm losing my sense of humor or I am utterly bored by morons misrepresenting my age group/sexuality/religion/race/gender/neighborhood/whatever.

Edit: Thanks for telling me; guess the clip was taken down on youtube.[I swear, I am really getting over youtube.]

There was no actual video, though, it was a radio clip. You can hear it on zShare, too.

Catching the spirit that travels throughout time.

New word:

effete - decadent: marked by excessive self-indulgence and moral decay; "a decadent life of excessive money and no sense of responsibility"; "a group of effete self-professed intellectuals"

Now, that's a word I think I'll actually use.

So, let's see. I feel pretty great. I helped Summer move yesterday, which utterly destroyed my back. And my arms. But mainly my back.

And it really helped me work off a lot of the anger I was feeling. It could just be me, and it most likely is, but I can really get tied up in my own emotions and abstractions. And just get really dramatic. And I think it's really just the result of bourgeois privilege, to some extent-- yeah, emotional health, all that, but there are people dying and suffering everyday. And I'll also be alive for decades to come, barring some freak accident-- oh, please don't let me get hit by a bus. These little things like being pissed or disappointed really don't matter most of the time.

So, the point is, getting really physical and just...not overemphasizing my thoughts and analyzing everything really helps me get over my teenage dramatics. So, I'm thankful.

Oh, and my hard drive is broken, which is really upsetting. But I only had it as of two weeks ago, so it's really not that big of a deal, I guess. But I will be sending it in for an exchange first thing in the morning. And trying to get my passport. And canceling my AOL service before I get a bill. And looking for a job.

I guess it's good to finally have real things to do, as opposed to the utter stress and tedium from school. I've got three new books that I want to read too. So we'll see how everything goes.

A few things that actually caught my notice: I start my sentences with 'I' far too often to be a good writer. Looking through my entries and just other documents that I've written on the fly, it's obvious that I've still got this instinctive habit to put an I in. I, I, I. Freshman year, my professor-- whom I often had creative differences with-- got me to think of some of my favorite writers. Baldwin, Hemingway, Irwin, Steinbeck, whoever. Diverse sentence construction is a good thing-- there's no need to start with I all of the time. Who else is talking such that you need to clarify who the actor is so often? Especially in my blog entries, since I'm very often the only actor in any experience I'll relate.

Actually, I don't really know how I feel about it, still.

Also, on Myspace, some of my friends are absolutely obsessed with these glamor icons, especially the gay black/latino boys. And it still doesn't make sense. I certainly joke a lot about loving Paris/Nicole/whoever, but to some extent I realize it's all a big joke-- somewhere, anyway. And I...don't think most other people feel that way.

Originally I had more to say on this point but cartoons are stealing my attention.

Also, my subject title inspires a great fondness in me.